am I just the girl he’s looking for?

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Some awesome young adult Dominican sisters at WYD 2011 Madrid. (c) WordOnFire

Warning: #CatholicNerdingOut.

And the more she ignores me
The more I adore her
What can I do?
I’d do anything for her…

‘Cause she’s bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can’t help myself
I don’t want anyone else
She’s a mystery
She’s too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
‘Cause she’s just the girl I’m looking for”

–from “Just the Girl” by the Click Five

I randomly happened to listen to this song tonight. Brought me back to my college days when I’d plug into my iPod while walking to and from class, as it was a favorite.

The lyrics got me thinking… Is this how God feels about me? The more I ignore Him… the more He adores me? How lovely, how enamoring. That He would pine for me that much.

I also got to thinking about vocations in the sense of married life versus consecrated life. I know, I know. I have a boyfriend. But sometimes I wonder. Though I have met someone who I could envision marrying, I am still trying to be open. After all, it ain’t a thing till there ain’t no ring! šŸ˜›

I bolded the lyrics that especially struck me as translatable about how God really pursues me and wants my heart.

I really admire sisters and nuns and consecrated religious. Their love for Our LORD must be so strong, so pure, so deep, so eternal.

I admire friends who are married too– and heck, those married in my family. I know the LORD is present in their lives too, strongly and beautifully so! And working with kids, teens, and families, I can see how married life truly is a vocation filled with grace.

Yet I can also see how religious life truly sets one apart for the LORD in a very special, unique way. As a consecrated religious, you are already living like you would in Heaven, like the angels who are already fully consecrated to our LORD. For instance, if a sister, you ARE the bride of Christ… or, if a priest, you ARE the bridegroom of the Church.

Does God want me to marry? Does God want me all to Himself? These are questions all Catholic teens and young adults should ask themselves. I know that my boyfriend and I ask ourselves these questions occasionally still.

If God does will me to marry, I know He’s still pursuing me. I feel that every day. But how in tune am I to that? And what should my response be? Am I doing enough? I want to love Him to the best of my capacity! Receiving and resting in His love, yes. But giving back my entire self to Him: I’d like to do that too!

It’s truly a beautiful gift to be a daughter of God, to be one of God’s creatures– but still to beĀ  pursued as a complete “mystery” to Him, whom He would like to unveil!

Like the song says… no matter what God has in store for me…

God adores me, He’d do anything for me, He doesn’t want anyone else, He thinks I’m a mystery, and I’m just the girl He’s looking for.

Well, now.

I’m completely flattered.

the mystery of every person… the mystery of me.

“Eliminate and concentrate.”.

IĀ  heard this phrase from a classmate tonight, when we were discussing the process of simplifying one’s life.

“Eliminate the unnecessary… concentrate on the necessary.

Eliminate the noise… concentrate on the core of the matter.

Get to the heart of it.”

…I thought.

Tonight, during the same class, I chirped in my two cents about my personal thoughts about the experience of being in the psychotherapy room with clients.

I like to think every person has his/her own “-ology.” For example: Is your name John? Then you have your own John-ology. When I am with clients, I pray that the Holy Spirit helps me to learn every unique client-ology, which I believe is just a tiny study of the Total Mystery of Our Lord, the ultimate “-OLOGY” Himself.

Our LORD is the Ultimate Being to be studied. He is the Alpha Omega Mystery! But, O, how exhilarating to know that we can still know bits and pieces of Him by studying all of Creation, including the -ologies of various academic disciplines, as well as every human soul itself, a creation of the Creator.

We, God’s children, are all a part of Him. Baptized in Christ, we too are bone of His bones… flesh of His flesh. We are made in very His image and likeness.Ā We possess an -ology, a mystery all our own, as unique sons or daughters of God.

As a counselor AND equally in my life outside of being a counselor, I like to pray to the Holy Spirit: How can I eliminate what is going on in my life… concentrate on this soul before me… and tap into the mystery of this person? Holy Spirit, help me tap into the MYSTERY of this PERSON!

Yes, every person that I meet introduces me to God in a unique way. In fact, I will never know God in that unique way in the face of ANY other person. How beautiful is that?!

Tonight my classmates and professors were moved by what I said, but I knew that I could take none of the credit. It’s all God’s. And all of this thought about the “mystery” of every person relates to what I have learned from Blessed Pope John Paul II, who always spoke of the “dignity” of every person.

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As Lent 2013 starts to unfold, I realize as I “eliminate and concentrate” on GOD Himself, Our Lord will not only reveal more about His own mystery to me, but also more about how I reflect His mystery, and how I truly am His beloved!

“The root of all holiness is romance.”

This Lent, I am excited to try to grow in holiness so I can fall deeper into that Mystery of Love who has created me as bone of His bones and flesh of His flesh… out of pure love for me.

because giving makes you rich…

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“No one has ever become poor by giving.” Anne Frank

This Lent, I want to give myself to God without abandon so that I can grow rich in His mystery. I know that the more I give myself to Our Lord, the more I will find myself in His mystery. Suffering is joy? Death is life? Solitude is Divine communion? Yes, yes, and yes.

Lent is a time to detach from everyone else in the world and even to detach from my own thoughts about who IĀ think am. Christ will show me who I am as His beloved daughter… in ways I cannot fathom now.

I really hope that this Lent, I can attach more to Christ on the cross, feel more with His heart of flesh, and drink more of His Living Water. Not through my own humanly power, but only via the grace of God.

Psalm 92:5 reads: “O Lord, how great are thy works! thy thoughts are exceeding deep.”

I hope that my various Lenten sacrifices (such as fasting) and holy additions (such as attendance at daily Mass, rain or shine) will lead me more into the Mystery of the Cross. Or rather, that God will use them to Himself lead me more into that Mystery at Calvary. Maybe the young woman I meet at the end of this 40-day journey will be someone completely transformed.

I’m ready, Lord. Send me… into the desert!