priorities: live and die tryin’

World Youth Day Mass 2013 at Rio de Janeiro... millions of youth yearning for God to fill their hearts-- for the Eucharist to feed their bodies and souls!

World Youth Day Mass 2013 at Rio de Janeiro… millions of youth yearning for God to fill their hearts– for the Eucharist to feed their bodies and souls!

Those days. I remember those days. When I would lay in bed at night and think and pray that if I only had a boyfriend (hopefully, a very potential husband), I would be happy.

Those mornings when I would wake up in the morning, look at the light hitting my pillows and sheets, and dream about cuddling with a baby, or maybe even five kids (LOL– typical devout Catholic girl dream?), and a hubby, too.

Well, guess what? Those days and mornings are here. Marriage. Family life. And yes, life is beautiful. And I am happy in many ways. All thanks be to the Providence and the goodness of God the Creator. AMEN.

Yet… surprise! (No, not really– knew it was coming!!) I still have this deep longing in my heart, this restlessness that I cannot explain. I still have that “God hole” that nothing and NO ONE (not even my husband or son) can fill… but God.

As Saint Augustine stated so eloquently: “You have made us for Yourself, O LORD, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.” (Happy feast day today, St. Auggie!)

I also still dream. I dream of saving souls. Not so much in a “preach-y till they all convert” way, but in an “indirect, let the Holy Spirit use me somehow” way. Call it the spirit of the New Evangelization teeming from within. It’s what gets me up in the morning!

Yet tonight during prayer, my husband reminded me of something very important: Prioritization.

While we were praying, I prayed to the LORD that my husband would excel in one of his life’s ambitions.

Then my husband did something funny. He smiled. He laughed. He looked at me. And he changed that prayer. He quipped, gently, “And LORD, that I might be the BEST DADDY in the world!”

Oh so true. This is why I married this man. Because before being an engineer, he is a father and a husband. And before being those roles, he is a son of God. A soldier of Christ.

The same goes for me. First, a daughter of God, a disciple of Christ. (That “God hole” will always feel wanting, and that’s a good thing.) Second, a wife and a mother. Third, a __________ (fill in other roles pertaining to my unique vocation or “calling” here).

My primary goal: to get myself and my hubby and my son to Heaven.

All other goals are secondary.

Priorities…

Just tryin’ to get ’em straight. I do fail sometimes, ’tis true. But…

Hope I live and I die tryin’.

don’t let others define you

“…For the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Only God knows who is within. He knows us even more than we know ourselves!

Have you tapped into who you really are? Or have you listened to who the world tells you you are? Do you think that perhaps you place too much weight on who others think that you are, or who you should be?

Why not try to discover who you really are by growing closer to your Creator? Then you will find out how you– His beautiful creation– are uniquely you! You image God in a way that no other person on the planet ever will.

Others may be fooled. They may judge by the outer appearance.

But God looks at your heart… and invites you to find out how He has fashioned your heart… by first coming close to His.

When we draw nearer to Him, we have a clearer vision of who we are as His beloved daughter or son.

 I’d much rather let the Creator of the Universe define me and tell me that my heart is irreplaceable… than have someone who does not really know my heart tell me how much it is worth, and tell me who I am!Image

the mystery of every person… the mystery of me.

“Eliminate and concentrate.”.

I  heard this phrase from a classmate tonight, when we were discussing the process of simplifying one’s life.

“Eliminate the unnecessary… concentrate on the necessary.

Eliminate the noise… concentrate on the core of the matter.

Get to the heart of it.”

…I thought.

Tonight, during the same class, I chirped in my two cents about my personal thoughts about the experience of being in the psychotherapy room with clients.

I like to think every person has his/her own “-ology.” For example: Is your name John? Then you have your own John-ology. When I am with clients, I pray that the Holy Spirit helps me to learn every unique client-ology, which I believe is just a tiny study of the Total Mystery of Our Lord, the ultimate “-OLOGY” Himself.

Our LORD is the Ultimate Being to be studied. He is the Alpha Omega Mystery! But, O, how exhilarating to know that we can still know bits and pieces of Him by studying all of Creation, including the -ologies of various academic disciplines, as well as every human soul itself, a creation of the Creator.

We, God’s children, are all a part of Him. Baptized in Christ, we too are bone of His bones… flesh of His flesh. We are made in very His image and likeness. We possess an -ology, a mystery all our own, as unique sons or daughters of God.

As a counselor AND equally in my life outside of being a counselor, I like to pray to the Holy Spirit: How can I eliminate what is going on in my life… concentrate on this soul before me… and tap into the mystery of this person? Holy Spirit, help me tap into the MYSTERY of this PERSON!

Yes, every person that I meet introduces me to God in a unique way. In fact, I will never know God in that unique way in the face of ANY other person. How beautiful is that?!

Tonight my classmates and professors were moved by what I said, but I knew that I could take none of the credit. It’s all God’s. And all of this thought about the “mystery” of every person relates to what I have learned from Blessed Pope John Paul II, who always spoke of the “dignity” of every person.

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As Lent 2013 starts to unfold, I realize as I “eliminate and concentrate” on GOD Himself, Our Lord will not only reveal more about His own mystery to me, but also more about how I reflect His mystery, and how I truly am His beloved!

“The root of all holiness is romance.”

This Lent, I am excited to try to grow in holiness so I can fall deeper into that Mystery of Love who has created me as bone of His bones and flesh of His flesh… out of pure love for me.