Last Friday, I saw my supervisor for the last time. When I said goodbye to her that evening, little did I know that would be the last time that I would see her with God’s breath within her earthly body.
Tonight I have chosen to meditate upon a Psalm that has me thinking about my human finitude on earth and God’s infinitude in all Creation, Psalm 51:10: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.”
Have you ever felt liked God was renewing you, refreshing your soul with His love, His joy, His mercy, His sweet sweet kindness, His downright romance?
There are so many points in our lives, day by day, not big turning points, but tiny unseen ones, in which God turns us back to Him: our Ultimate Reality and Purpose!
I also often think of this Psalm before and after I go to Confession. For God offers me grace to re-turn my direction towards Him. I am either going towards Him or away from him; there is no standing still in this race of life. As St. Paul says, we are to “fight the good fight, finish the race, and [keep] the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7).
Even in the darkest of hours, the driest of times, spiritually, I can still ardently say, “I am waiting, O Lord!” when none of my emotions feel that He, in fact, is going towards me. But oh, how He is always pursuing my heart! Like a Lover, attracted to me so sweetly and yet so fiercely at the same time (“Love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree…”).
Sometimes, His cutting off that emotional love and making it purely “decisional” on our end is simply what makes for a more passionate re-uniting with Our Lord in the end. He makes the greatest of saints-in-the-making suffer the hardest.
Throughout our lives, we have endings and beginnings of various chapters. Our beginnings? Re-awakenings to God in the new chapters of our life. As I ponder on Psalm 51:10, I realize that I have my beginning in my Creator, and I have my end in Him as well. I have a beginning and I have an end: the Alpha and the Omega: my Lord and my God!
God creates and sends every individual to renew and to refresh the face of the earth with His grace in some unique way! And then… it is His ardent desire to be able to call every individual back to Heaven to be with Him, where He has a room for him or her with which he or she may dwell with Him forever. God desires this, but ultimately it is our choice to claim His as the Lord of our lives for all eternity. He does not condemn us to Hell; we do that to ourselves. How he so ardently longs for us!
God was my supervisor’s beginning; He is her end as well. Not only is He the Alpha and the Omega. He is HER Alpha and HER Omega. He is MY Alpha and MY Omega. And He should be YOUR Alpha and YOUR Omega, too. What are you waiting for?!
Jesus tells us: “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:2-3)
Linda’s steadfast spirit truly inspired me to be ALIVE, to follow God’s Will without abandon, to make Him my beginning and my end. May Linda not only rest in peace in the room reserved for her by Our Lord, but also dance merrily, sing songs of praise, and be our fierce and active prayer warrior as she intercedes for us in Heaven!
“You’re my Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End. You’re my Savior, Messiah, Redeemer, and Friend. You’re my Prince of Peace. And I will live my life for You!”