Emotions vs. Decisions

My boyfriend lives 1342 miles away.

Every day I long to be near his side. Not a day goes by that I do not. But alas, I have one last year of graduate school to finish, and contracts, and obligations here in California. Souls to serve.

People ask why he hasn’t followed me here, but in all honesty, I wouldn’t let him. He is thriving with his company there. This is the best for him, for us.

I wear a chastity promise ring (which he gave me :-))… and every time I notice the sunlight glimmer off of it, or even the bulb-light from the lamp on my nightstand bounce off of it… I am reminded of how much he loves me. He loves me with a heroic love. A selfless love. A patient love.

We are going on almost 60 days of not seeing each other. Every gap feels like a courtship lent of sorts: a time for pruning and detachment, but also a time for great growth as a couple.

And every day, I have a choice:

I can wallow in my emotion. I can throw a pity party. Woe can be me. (This is the easy way out. And yes, I have taken it many a times.)

Or I can decide to look past my ardent desire to be with my dear beloved, appreciate the very fact that I believe I have found my very own St. Joseph (or rather, Our Lord has so graciously gifted me with him! :-)), and remember to savor every bit of today, for THIS is where God wants me at this moment!

I can remember… That patience is a virtue, and that God is hoping that I practice it, and practice it well.

Emotions or decisions…

What will rule my life?

I’m a school counselor two days a week, and this hangs in the faculty lounge. I look at it and I am reminded that every day, though I feel so strongly
called to be with my St. Joseph 1342 miles away… Our Lord is still using me here in California… He has reasons. 🙂


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