Bending beneath the weight of
His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware
Of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and
How great your affections are for me
“How He Loves Us”
I flipped through my February Magnificat today and re-read the February 9th Gospel. The Greek woman, the Syrophoenician, begged Jesus to drive a demon out of her daughter and said, “Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps” (Mark 7:24-30).
This woman showed humility beyond compare; she begged God for His healing touch, and this is precisely what led to Jesus to show her His compassion and love. After she persisted and willingly lowered herself so, He immediately healed her daughter.
St. Claude de La Colombiere said: “Do not lose courage when you have begun so well to struggle with God. Do not give him a moment’s rest. He loves the violence of your attack and wants to be overcome by you. Make importunity your watchword, let persistence be a miracle in you. Compel God to throw off the mask and say to you with admiration ‘Great is your faith, be it done as you wish. I can no longer resist you, you shall have what you desire, in this life and the next.'”
All I could think about when I read this Gospel and this meditation was this…
“Yes, He is jealous for me!”
Truly, my God is a jealous God. He is a jealous Lover! And He wants my soul, He wants my heart, He wants my body, He wants all of my actions. He wants my everything.
And it’s funny just how much he wants me to pursue Him… just the way He pursues me.
God wants me to love Him as I have loved no one else on earth. God wants to be overcome by me. He wants me to romance Him, so that He can no longer resist me so…
I feel like a lot of my years going to LifeTeen Mass in high school consisted of God romancing me: Showing me that He was the Perfect Man, the only One who would every truly understand everything about me and provide me with everything I needed. The only Man who could love me perfectly! And no wonder: He was God Made Man, the Ultimate Sacrifice. The Story of the Cross? The Ultimate Love Story.
Yet over a decade since I fell passionately in love with Our Lord, it seems that now He is begging me to do the same: to romance Him with my longings for Him, most especially during the most dry and arduous times of my life.
And most especially during this liturgical season of Lent, I know that I can give Him as many offerings as possible: my own secession of small kisses upon His brow, my own token of affection for His Passion and death on the Cross. No, not even my martyrdom could compare to what He has done for me.
For when my soul is dry and suffering, this is when JESUS wants not only to flood my soul with His grace, with His living water. No. After doing that, He wants to put that flood out with an even greater flame of His intense, powerful, mighty, consuming, arduous, passionate– or shall I say, Passionate!– LOVE.
And who can compare to God?
“His love is a hurricane, and I am a tree! Bending beneath the weight of His wind and His mercy”
JESUS is the Ultimate Lover– the Ultimate Romancer of the inner core of our heart that only He knows. There is a deep, dark abyss in my heart that only the Flame of the Holy Spirit can fulfill and quench.
My Lord has a “jealousy as hard as hell, the lamps thereof are fire and flames”; and His love cannot be quenched or drowned by floods (Song of Songs 8:6). There are no words.